Job Searchin’

The job search is ridiculous. I’m five years out of college with no idea of what I want to do for a career as I bide my time at Starbucks, makin’ lattes and shit.

Throughout college, I repressed my desire to get an adventury career since I knew I’d probably be a cripple one day. After a trip to France, I thought I’d never be able to travel alone.

Then, diagnosis! Treatment! Success!

Now I’m feelin’ fine. Repressed desires are surfacing (not that Freudian, cool down), and I just want to be Indiana Jones! Problem is, I already graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Desk Job Sciences and I reeeeeaaaally feel too damn good to be behind a desk.

The second problem, as all my AS homies out there know, is insurance. I feel great because of Humira, but I can’t just run off and do some cool adventure tour-guide job because I need insurance for afore-mentioned Humira. Unless I want to pay thousands out of pocket each month, which I’d really rather spend on I-went-to-Tibet-and-just-got-this-lousy-t-shirt tourist crap.

However, right now, I’m shocked at the amount of times “ping pong table” and “hallway scooter races” come up in these job descriptions. I know these companies are trying to stay relevant to attract young, hip talent, but they’re attracting people who were young and hip in the late eighties/early 90s. MORE ON THIS LATER. Promise. So many snarky things to say.

At this point, I’ll take a class in ping-ponging if it’ll get me a job.

 

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