DOWNSIZING! BUY OUR SHIT!

Hello shoppers,

We’re asking $35 for a great kitchen table, 80s retro, with a built in leaf, and four regular chairs, two armchairs. With this sexy kitchen set, famous people (Jennifer Lawrence, Leonardo DiCaprio, President Barack Obama) will be knocking down the door for an invitation to a dinner party at your place.

If you don’t like the 80s wood grain, get your Pinterest on! Chalk paint that baby! Turn it into a shabby chic whatever and send me a picture so I can feel bad about myself for pinning everything and actually following through on none of them.

You must come and collect because I can’t fit even one of those dang chairs into my little car. Plus, my transmission has been on the fritz, and I wouldn’t want to be stuck on the side of the road with a table. Most useless cargo ever in case of an emergency.

This listing also comes with a hearty handshake and a charming style. For free. Haggling for more is allowed.

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Leave a reply if you’re interested!

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